This is dedicated to my kids who have all wanted to hear the stories of my growing up on the farm in Kansas. Relatives and friends are welcome to tag along if ya’ll want. We actually didn’t say ya’ll cuz we were edumacated. I love the farm and the spectacular weather we had. There were ice storms (sometimes it was colder than a well diggers ass), snow, but rarely on Christmas, tornados, and sometimes when it rained it was like a cow pissing on a flat rock. If you’ve seen it you know what I mean.
My mom always said, “you were born with dirt under your nails.” Seems like my nails were always dirty because I was always, well, dirty. It was a farm after all. I will try to be as accurate as I can but reserve artistic license. If one wants facts one can ask my older sister, MA.
Trying to organize the photos that prompted all of this has turned out to be a task. Where to start? Since there are only 4 photos of Sunnyside, the school where I went to the first grade, it seems like a good place to get some dirt under my nails.
Sunnyside:
Sunnyside was a one room school house about 2 blocks from our house. It was, of course, 
up-hill both ways. There were two doors – for boys and girls separately. Inside each door was a coat room where we put our coats and boots and where we kept our drinking cups. I still have my cup.
I guess it really was a 4 room school in that there were 2 coat rooms, the classroom and the bell pull room with cellar access. It was a treat to get to ring the bell when school started, at recess, or when school was out. Sneaking into the bell pull room was easy. However, getting back to your desk undetected after an unscheduled ringing of the bell, not so much.
The Furnace Grate:
The cellar access was a door in the floor with a pull ring. The furnace was in the cellar. There were two grates in the classroom floor for heat, one on each side of the room. Each was about 3 feet square with a grid of 1 inch squares. The trick was to wait till the furnace was really blasting hot air then chuck a crayon into the grate. Not an easy trick with the small holes but always fun when a crayon went through and started to stink.
The Playground:
There was a swing set that we never could swing all the way around, a triple seesaw that was probably 6 feet at the up end, and a jungle gym.
Then there was the flag pole that we climbed whenever the teacher was not around. The pole was really smooth, almost slick, and therefore difficult to shinny up, but the rope bracket was wicked. It was wicked because it was very pointy on the ends – not really sharp but not blunt either.
Similar to this bracket.
It was about a foot long and the points had about a 3 inch gap from the pole. Just enough to impale your leg or butt if you slipped.
The Ditch:
There was a ditch that ran all the way along the north side of the school yard. It was about 3 feet across and maybe 1 foot deep. Of course there was a 2 inch pipe laid across the ditch. Wouldn’t think much of it huh? Until, that is, one day when Steve Snow and I sneaked out, which was something we did frequently. I doubt if our sneaking out really went unnoticed but wasn’t high on the no-no list. (Remember I was in the FIRST grade!) Until that day. Steve and I had walked across the pipe a hunnert times, until that day. He slipped. Broke his arm. Compound fracture with both bones sticking out. It was way cool, although I doubt he thought so. It was much harder to sneak out after that. Of course we got into trouble but imagine the lawsuits were that to occur today!
Outhouses – plural:
And the outhouses! Obviously a boys and girls (remember the two doors for the school). Such fun. They are both gone now but were behind the school. We would make sure the teacher was at her desk during recess, gather a bunch of BIG rocks (at least they were for a first grader) and throw them against the back of the schoolhouse. HUGE noise inside! Run to the outhouse to “hide.” Teacher came in anyway.
The Christmas Play:
Ahhh the Christmas play. I forget the theme of the play (must have suffered PTSD) but there was one scene in which several of us were to twirl lariats. We were decked out in cowboy boots, hats, vests, chaps (I still have the chaps) and a twirling rope. I could twirl that sucker all day.
It had a metal ring about 1 inch long at the end that you held so it would not tangle while being twirled. Worked like a charm. Until that day. Not the day Steve broke his arm, another “that day”. That stupid rope would not twirl. I was devastated. I think I made it all the way outside (again) before anyone caught me.
The Boar:
Sunnyside lasted one year. Then we moved across Mud Crick (yes that was the name, well creek but we called it crick) from the big white house dad rented to the little red cement block house he bought. The big white house was two stories – the red house was too, but the white house had a fancy landing half way down the stairs that turned 90 degrees. Seems I was sleepwalking one night and stopped on the landing and took a leak. Anyway, we raised pigs at the white house and were shipping some to market one day and for some reason there was a HUGE old MEAN boar in the mix. There was an “alley” of wooden fence leading to the holding pen. It was maybe 50 feet long. All of a sudden everyone was shouting to hit the fence and everyone clambered up the fence. Just as the boar was about to take a bite out of my arse my dad grabbed me by my overall straps and yanked me straight up. Said boar went right under me. I don’t think I peed my pants.
Mud Crick:
There was a bridge over Mud Crick like this but not nearly as long. It was one lane and the metal sides were probably 6 feet high. The bridge was about 15 feet above the crick. At this point the crick was shallow so there was no jumping off the bridge into a swimmin’ hole but we did walk across the railings. Probably where I got my fear of heights. Fortunately no one fell. There were a couple of places north of the bridge big enough to “swim” in. Mainly tho we caught crawdads and frogs.
The Red Block House:
At the red house, Mike, my sister, had the upstairs room. For those of you who don’t know, her name is spelled Michele (one “l”) so pronounced like Michael. She actually got two draft notices from the Army but I digress. The upstairs room was the length of the house and there were two double beds. 
The center 3 feet of the ceiling was the only place it was flat. From there it sloped down to about 4 feet high on each side to make storage rooms the length of the house.
There were two closets at the north end of the room separated by a window. The other end is where the stairs were. There were two windows at that end that looked out over the porch. When MA (Michele Ann) went to college I got her room and would crawl out on the porch roof to sit and contemplate the ways of the world. The stairs would creak when you walked up, then about an hour later would creak back. Creepy as hell! Now for the two closets and Halloween: I had a full sized cardboard skeleton that was painted with glow in the dark white paint. You can probably see where this is going… MA was out with friends and I put the glow in the dark skeleton inside her main closet door so when she opened the door she was nose to nose with the skeleton. You can guess the rest.
Another Skeleton Story:
I took an anatomy and physiology class at KU. I do not know the nationality of the professor but English was definitely a second language! The “jaw” was “jew,” “tongue” was “tang” and these are the only ones I can remember. Anyway, we had a lab with 3 complete cadavers. I loved that class and would come home smelling like formalin. The lab was in the basement of Strong Hall, I think. The hall to the lab was actually a long tunnel about 7 feet square, tile floor, gray ceiling and the walls were dark bead board paneling. A bare bulb hung down from the ceiling about every 20 feet, very StevenKingish. The entrance to the lab was a double door that opened out into the hall. One night after a couple of hours in the lab another student and I closed up. We took one of the two complete skeletons and placed it just inside the door. The lab was always opened by a teaching assistant who was usually a jock. BIG JOCK. We engaged him in conversation while he was unlocking the lab doors then he turned to enter the lab and was nose to nose to the skeleton. He went white and nearly passed out! I suppose now he knows who to thank.
Billtown:
The second through eighth grade was at Billtown which is slang for Williamstown. Don’t know who William was, nor why Sunnyside was closed (probably couldn’t get a new teacher after the last one went nuts). Went from a one room school to a four room school. Two grades per room. Had to ride a bus. Yellow of course.
The 5-6 grade teacher was the disciplinarian from hell. At the recess bell we had to QUIETLY put our pencils down. When everyone had put their pencils down – quietly – and at her command, TURN, we turned 90 degrees, and sat quietly. When everyone had turned, and it was supposed to be in unison but rarely was, we would, at her command, STAND – quietly – then at the command PASS we could leave the room one aisle at a time – quietly. Did not like that teacher. Don’t remember her name either. If we were not quiet we had to start over. If you wanted to survive recess you were QUIET!
The principal, and 7-8 grade teacher, was “Red” Langdon. Red was for the color of his hair. Don’t know what his first name was. He always had a chew in his lower lip. I did a report on the only summer vacation we ever took. We had a station wagon with the back seat facing backwards. In the report I said I got to see where I had been and Red got a great belly laugh out of that.
The Vacation:
This doesn’t have anything to do with Sunnyside other than the vacation mentioned above. We went to Arizona to see some friends of the parents, Bill and Venita Green. Bill, Dad and I went to Camelback Mountain, which was waaay outside of Phoenix (now encircled by town) to hunt for scorpions. 
Bill had gotten some plastic stuff that you could ‘bake’ the specimens in to have a neat paperweight. We caught several and told Mom that one had gotten loose in the car. It took Dad a considerable amount of talking to convince her that he was teasing. Anyway, said scorpions were prepared, placed in the plastic material and then put in the oven to bake. One tipped and spilled the plastic stuff which caught fire. Not much flame but lots and lots of black smoke. Great vacation!
The Yellow Bus:
Since Billtown was several miles away we got to ride the Yellow School Bus. The very back seats were premium! Since this was before seat belts were invented, the back seat riders were bounced about a foot off the seat when going over bumps. Standing at the kitchen sink, in the red house, you were facing west. To your left, the long side of the “L counter” was the only kitchen window. We would sit on this counter to watch for the bus coming across the bridge we didn’t jump off of. In the winter we always hoped for a snow day and would not know if there was going to be school until the bus didn’t show up.
sunnyside53.com 